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Adolescence

by lifer.

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1.
Watching the seasons change again - another three months spent alone- the awful feeling - that can't be shaken - she stares in the eyes of her newest victim - the same stare she gave everyone - the same stare she gave me - "I tryed to give up, but I need to be loved" she once tried to explain - a false sence of reality behind her eyes - twisted notion of depth in that mind - a hope crushed behind her lies - an abandoned love turned despise - do you see me? - do you even notice my presence? - lately I've been spitting hate hoping you haven't heard - I can't quite understand why I attempt to cover up my tracks - you should be the one with the knife in your back - and it's an abslute wonder to me - you're still breathing - you're still moving - you're still living - I'm fucking here alone
2.
Summers 01:41
nights spent burning our eyes out on a screen - don't think twice about looking away - faster hands bring faster fixes - we can't be pulled away - and when the day breaks we dread facing what lies ahead - they will fill our heads in repetition with information we found useless - take me away - we want more than we know what to ask for - our faces are hidden behind a keyboard named anonymous - mistaking feelings of lust for love and loneliness for hatred - I'll never forget the summer when the world at my finger tips became better than the world in the palm of my hand
3.
I dread these nights - I've begun to hope there's no morning - because when it comes I'm still awake - I've ground my teeth to the gum - the cold is becoming unbearable - the truth that once brought me to my knees - now seems the most absurd to me - I strayed away -in search of myself - alowing stale words to cloud in my mind - words spoken time and time again, repeating - I know I don't feel the same way - when I was just a child - this place was a home to me - now I'm grown and I don't know how I'm supposed to think - I speak sarcastically - an asshole tone - my first impressions are to be taken lightly - please don't follow me - don't follow me
4.
Dust 02:46
this city is eating me away - I belive it's time for me to take some time away from it - I could never call you a home - I never slept here - I never loved here - I've already set my mind on leaving - I'm out the door - and it's true atht each of these songs can be tied back to you - empty nights feeling sick and alone - courtesy of the place that you call home - the time I've spent here has taken its toll on me - my worn heart beating slowly yet steadily - I've become comfortable in its rythem - it's become the same without rest - and the weight I continue to pile onto my chest - I was given ideas here - I was shown the world here - I was brought up here - I'll remain a ghost here - I'm just dust here
5.
Liehaven 03:29
only so much - can be accomplished - by phone calls made in apartment rooms - we practice false lines incase they ask us- where we've been - but we know our plans are foolproof - I've got a guilty conscience - Dad, I got it from you - you're too much like me - like father, like son - I couldn't keep a promise - I told you a lie - I'm a liar - children's imaginations are so fucked up
6.
there's not much more for me to see - I keep to myself so nothing bothers me - they hint at escape, something that sets free - but I'm blind, I can't see - happiness is hard to obtain - I've dont nothing for years to give or receive pain - I try my best not to make eye contact - I'm afrade of what might happen next - you don't know at all - oh, to be rid of the anxiety - to do away with such notions - everyone is my enemy - so i'll keep going about my buisness - acting like i could care less, acting like i don't care at all - about you, and yours - you don't know - you'll never mend your ways - people never change - I'm giving up - on trying to help you - on trying to please you - you don't even realize - I stay out of the way

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released April 21, 2011

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lifer. Conway, Arkansas

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